Hi all, this is my first post (I hope you guys don't mind this being a long one). I just recently discovered this forum and decided to register after reading some posts. I'm from the UK, asian and in the mid 20s.
I do apologize if this is not that well written, as English is not my first language.
Here's my scenario/story:
I went into a relationship with my girlfriend (Chinese, early 20s) 10 months ago. She lived just opposite my flat, we started to meet up often, I fall for her over time, and one night while we were chatting I became brave (I'm quite a shy guy and never been in a relationship before, but I consider myself as being matured) and spill out my feelings towards her. She said that she, too have feelings towards me. We started.
Things weren't smooth at first, she felt that I didn't really chase her, and said that maybe she doesn't love me as much as I do for her. Though discouraged, I worked hard, as a result our relationship spiked up within a month. She went for a trip for few weeks, and we terribly missed each other. After she came back we were on fire. During the following few months, we had fun, travel, laugh, kissed, make out, and shared everything together. We were very happy and she told me she liked me more and more, day by day. We said "I love you" and "I miss you" all the time. We spent almost every minute together. I truly felt that she loved me and we were deeply in love.
Summer came and we had to go back to our own countries for 3 months. The first month she missed me terribly, we skyped very often. I called her everyday despite of how busy I am with my placement. Then here comes July where she started her internship. She started not picking up calls. I can fully understand because she just started and was being busy. We still chat at night. Two days later she said that she suddenly felt that there's a distance between us. She lost the spark for me. She said that after busy working for a whole day she feels tired to have to chat and type and she just feels like doing her own stuff. I got really upset but I said I understand and promised to give her some space. She couldn't sleep after that, came online again and told me that not that she doesn't love me, it's just that she wants her own time to do the things she like after a day of work. She always care for my feelings and if I'm upset, she will be, too. She's a sensitive person and she knows me well, so everytime when i'm upset she will be too. After a week cooling things down we talked about it again, and managed to get back again.
One night in mid August, I came back drunk but I still chatted normally and went to bed. Next morning I woke up with a text 'will you still be my friend if we break up?' It was my last day of work and it hit me so hard. In our following texts she said (the hurting starts) that she had been thinking whether she truly love me or not. She felt really happy when we spent our time together, but she didn't really have the 'touch' factor deep down (don't know how to express this). She agreed to be with me in the first place was because that night when I proposed it was so touching and never a guy did that to her in the past. Overtime she 'liked' me more and more, but she thinks that wasn't 'love'. I asked her if the past few months was fake, she said that she gave her whole heart, asked me not to doubt it. She said she just feel that she doesn't love me THAT much. She wants to cool down and said that will communicate less often until she come back to the UK, else she will be confusing herself.
She wants to slowly get the feeling back when she comes back, and want us to just go naturally and don't keep on pressurizing on things like whether she love me or not. She says if by then she still have no feeling towards me only then she'll make the decision. She just want everything to flow naturally. She enjoys freedom, and a relaxed relationship, not a heavy one. I admit that due to insecurity I had always been asking her whether she loves me and will doubt her love towards me whenever something happened between us.
We were maintaining basic conversations for the next two weeks, until last Friday. I was helping her to select course units and she got frustrated and became grumpy and fierce. I said it's okay and I felt sorry for not doing more research before actually telling her. She said it's ok, went to sleep but came back shortly. She said she's worried about me because she was abit rude. I told her I can understand because of our current status and her current feelings towards me. But sometimes I'll still feel sad.
She went to bed, but couldn't sleep the whole night as she was bothered and started thinking here and there. We chatted but it still did not calm her down. She started to ask me, if we break up, can we still live together? (We will live together for this academic year) If we really break up, I hope that we can still live together normally, eat and shop together, just without this layer of relationship? I said that I feel that you kept on mentioning about things happening after break up, it's like you're so sure that we could not work out. She replied, yes, maybe. She didn't know things could turn out differently, she said maybe through time she discovered she doesn't love me that much. It's not fair for me. She said that 'I feel that I don't love you, now. I don't know whether things will change to a better side when I go back, but I do know that we can't go back to where we were and what I feel for you.
I felt really upset and asked her, is she really unhappy and really troubled. She said yes, with my heart broken to pieces I said let me say it then, let's break up! She asked if we can still be friends, I said I will try my very best. She thanked me for coming into her life and she really felt that I care for her every feeling and really do love her. She cried. I acted as if i'm okay and said that I'll continue to support her and be there for her. I hope that she will find relief and feel better.
She came back 2 hours later, saying that she's actually heartbroken too. Breaking up with me wasn't a relief which she initially thought it was. Thinking that the inner war within her has ended, the excruciating pain came and she felt like she can't breathe. She said she can't let me go. But she has made a decision, and no one can change it. Asked me not to be too sad and wants me to know that she's not a cold-blooded person.
She was very sad and kept on thinking about us, for the next 12 hours. Then she became okay! Like so fast! That night she managed to sleep as well.
The next day I basically did the wrong thing by asking her to come back, things like you previously said that we can start all over, you can't know until you try, since we can work out in the past why not now, etc. I think it pulled her away further. She said that she thought things can change when she comes back, but actually it wouldn't. If she have had the true love feeling for me would have happened long ago. She just doesn't love me, and that she agreed us being a couple is because of that touching moment I gave to her when I proposed. All the while she knew that she didn't have this special 'touch' and she tried loving me, but she can't. She couldn't make a decision whether or not to tell me, and thought of only breaking up with me next year when we graduate. She told me we are not suitable for each other and she won't love me, things today wouldn't happen if she could. She wants me to not have anymore hope for her, let go and really hope to be friends. If not she'll move out.
Thanks for spending your time (if you're still reading), this is the first time i wrote up my feelings since our break up, so it's a little long-winded. I would appreciate any genuine advice (apart from asking me to look for other girls forget her etc, if I could I wouldn't have posted). I want her heart and love back.
Getting her back needs timing, I guess, as I can pressurize her no more. I know that I will really have to be friends with her for a while (at least giving her the impression) and act as if I'm over with it, giving her some space. (Or should I?)
She is coming back next Tuesday. I'll be going to the airport to pick her and I guess she won't reject a hug when we meet up. I was thinking, out of desperation, to have some pheromones on me (neck) to attract her attention and have some sparks for me. Then I will have her room tidied and will cook a nice meal for her. Should I try pheromones on?
Veterans out there, please help me. If I should give a shot on pheromones, which one is good? Some add ons to my personality, I have low self-confidence, not muscular (LOL but yea she often grumbles about this) and did not give her the 'manly' feeling which she can rely on in the past.
I read posts here saying that True Love for Men (do I need Copulin and should I go with Axe Kilo?) and Instant Gentlemen will be a good choice for Asian girls? Will they work? If not do you have any other mones (preferably spray) to recommend? Please consider my case written above before giving recommendations. Time is running short, postage from US to UK takes time as well.![Sad]( "Sad")
Thanks for your time! ( I wonder how many will actually read my whole post I will probably faint )
I do apologize if this is not that well written, as English is not my first language.
Here's my scenario/story:
I went into a relationship with my girlfriend (Chinese, early 20s) 10 months ago. She lived just opposite my flat, we started to meet up often, I fall for her over time, and one night while we were chatting I became brave (I'm quite a shy guy and never been in a relationship before, but I consider myself as being matured) and spill out my feelings towards her. She said that she, too have feelings towards me. We started.
Things weren't smooth at first, she felt that I didn't really chase her, and said that maybe she doesn't love me as much as I do for her. Though discouraged, I worked hard, as a result our relationship spiked up within a month. She went for a trip for few weeks, and we terribly missed each other. After she came back we were on fire. During the following few months, we had fun, travel, laugh, kissed, make out, and shared everything together. We were very happy and she told me she liked me more and more, day by day. We said "I love you" and "I miss you" all the time. We spent almost every minute together. I truly felt that she loved me and we were deeply in love.
Summer came and we had to go back to our own countries for 3 months. The first month she missed me terribly, we skyped very often. I called her everyday despite of how busy I am with my placement. Then here comes July where she started her internship. She started not picking up calls. I can fully understand because she just started and was being busy. We still chat at night. Two days later she said that she suddenly felt that there's a distance between us. She lost the spark for me. She said that after busy working for a whole day she feels tired to have to chat and type and she just feels like doing her own stuff. I got really upset but I said I understand and promised to give her some space. She couldn't sleep after that, came online again and told me that not that she doesn't love me, it's just that she wants her own time to do the things she like after a day of work. She always care for my feelings and if I'm upset, she will be, too. She's a sensitive person and she knows me well, so everytime when i'm upset she will be too. After a week cooling things down we talked about it again, and managed to get back again.
One night in mid August, I came back drunk but I still chatted normally and went to bed. Next morning I woke up with a text 'will you still be my friend if we break up?' It was my last day of work and it hit me so hard. In our following texts she said (the hurting starts) that she had been thinking whether she truly love me or not. She felt really happy when we spent our time together, but she didn't really have the 'touch' factor deep down (don't know how to express this). She agreed to be with me in the first place was because that night when I proposed it was so touching and never a guy did that to her in the past. Overtime she 'liked' me more and more, but she thinks that wasn't 'love'. I asked her if the past few months was fake, she said that she gave her whole heart, asked me not to doubt it. She said she just feel that she doesn't love me THAT much. She wants to cool down and said that will communicate less often until she come back to the UK, else she will be confusing herself.
She wants to slowly get the feeling back when she comes back, and want us to just go naturally and don't keep on pressurizing on things like whether she love me or not. She says if by then she still have no feeling towards me only then she'll make the decision. She just want everything to flow naturally. She enjoys freedom, and a relaxed relationship, not a heavy one. I admit that due to insecurity I had always been asking her whether she loves me and will doubt her love towards me whenever something happened between us.
We were maintaining basic conversations for the next two weeks, until last Friday. I was helping her to select course units and she got frustrated and became grumpy and fierce. I said it's okay and I felt sorry for not doing more research before actually telling her. She said it's ok, went to sleep but came back shortly. She said she's worried about me because she was abit rude. I told her I can understand because of our current status and her current feelings towards me. But sometimes I'll still feel sad.
She went to bed, but couldn't sleep the whole night as she was bothered and started thinking here and there. We chatted but it still did not calm her down. She started to ask me, if we break up, can we still live together? (We will live together for this academic year) If we really break up, I hope that we can still live together normally, eat and shop together, just without this layer of relationship? I said that I feel that you kept on mentioning about things happening after break up, it's like you're so sure that we could not work out. She replied, yes, maybe. She didn't know things could turn out differently, she said maybe through time she discovered she doesn't love me that much. It's not fair for me. She said that 'I feel that I don't love you, now. I don't know whether things will change to a better side when I go back, but I do know that we can't go back to where we were and what I feel for you.
I felt really upset and asked her, is she really unhappy and really troubled. She said yes, with my heart broken to pieces I said let me say it then, let's break up! She asked if we can still be friends, I said I will try my very best. She thanked me for coming into her life and she really felt that I care for her every feeling and really do love her. She cried. I acted as if i'm okay and said that I'll continue to support her and be there for her. I hope that she will find relief and feel better.
She came back 2 hours later, saying that she's actually heartbroken too. Breaking up with me wasn't a relief which she initially thought it was. Thinking that the inner war within her has ended, the excruciating pain came and she felt like she can't breathe. She said she can't let me go. But she has made a decision, and no one can change it. Asked me not to be too sad and wants me to know that she's not a cold-blooded person.
She was very sad and kept on thinking about us, for the next 12 hours. Then she became okay! Like so fast! That night she managed to sleep as well.
The next day I basically did the wrong thing by asking her to come back, things like you previously said that we can start all over, you can't know until you try, since we can work out in the past why not now, etc. I think it pulled her away further. She said that she thought things can change when she comes back, but actually it wouldn't. If she have had the true love feeling for me would have happened long ago. She just doesn't love me, and that she agreed us being a couple is because of that touching moment I gave to her when I proposed. All the while she knew that she didn't have this special 'touch' and she tried loving me, but she can't. She couldn't make a decision whether or not to tell me, and thought of only breaking up with me next year when we graduate. She told me we are not suitable for each other and she won't love me, things today wouldn't happen if she could. She wants me to not have anymore hope for her, let go and really hope to be friends. If not she'll move out.
Thanks for spending your time (if you're still reading), this is the first time i wrote up my feelings since our break up, so it's a little long-winded. I would appreciate any genuine advice (apart from asking me to look for other girls forget her etc, if I could I wouldn't have posted). I want her heart and love back.
Getting her back needs timing, I guess, as I can pressurize her no more. I know that I will really have to be friends with her for a while (at least giving her the impression) and act as if I'm over with it, giving her some space. (Or should I?)
She is coming back next Tuesday. I'll be going to the airport to pick her and I guess she won't reject a hug when we meet up. I was thinking, out of desperation, to have some pheromones on me (neck) to attract her attention and have some sparks for me. Then I will have her room tidied and will cook a nice meal for her. Should I try pheromones on?
Veterans out there, please help me. If I should give a shot on pheromones, which one is good? Some add ons to my personality, I have low self-confidence, not muscular (LOL but yea she often grumbles about this) and did not give her the 'manly' feeling which she can rely on in the past.
I read posts here saying that True Love for Men (do I need Copulin and should I go with Axe Kilo?) and Instant Gentlemen will be a good choice for Asian girls? Will they work? If not do you have any other mones (preferably spray) to recommend? Please consider my case written above before giving recommendations. Time is running short, postage from US to UK takes time as well.
Thanks for your time! ( I wonder how many will actually read my whole post I will probably faint )